Happy Weekend to all of you! I’m leaving for Chicago for a long weekend and wanted to give you an update beforehand.
I’m thankful to report that life has been pretty stable for me since the pneumonia/low WBC incident. It hasn’t been better, but stable is more than I can ask for right now. Very tired and weak but trying to adapt as much as possible. Hoping in my heart of hearts that the surgery August 5 will be exactly what my body has needed all this time. Praying stable will be a new level for me after I recover.
I always tell people how God gave me such a peace last summer while waiting for my liver. Yes, I had questions and I definitely had “my moments,” but overall, I was calm, just waiting for the inevitable. Praying my gift would come before another tumor moved in. Trusting God Himself held my future and safety in His hands.
This time around – I was, at first, very scared and mostly angry that once again, it’s me who has to go through something, how less than a year after the most difficult surgery possible, wondering what I did to deserve this, it was again my time for major surgery. More staples and scars. More fear and helplessness. More ICU and lines and clinging to a pillow and not being able to get into my own bed. What was going on? Was this really right? But again, peace has moved in to my heart.
Do I like what’s ahead on my path? No. Am I excited for what’s happening in a few weeks? No. Would I have chosen this for my life? No. But it has to fit in somewhere and one day be to the glory of God.
The God of the Universe has a plan that’s greater than anything I’d ever be able to dream up for myself.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. ”As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts as your thoughts.”
And that, I believe is where God’s Word in Proverbs 3.5-6 comes in:
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.
Until we get to Heaven, there will be suffering. There will be questions without answers. But He promised…
…for He hath said, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
Thanks for staying tuned to this crazy ride I’m on.
Love to you all,