Are you kidding me?
I was laying in bed last night when it hit me – I passed by my 6 month transplant anniversary (3.1.11) without even noticing. I’ve been feeling that good.
I’m floating through school, maintaining an amazing social life, volunteering, spending time with my kiddos, being a mommy to Haylie, and so much more. My DVR is so backlogged and my homework doesn’t get done as often as it should – I’m just so busy diving headfirst into everything with this new life I’ve been given. I’ve never been able to keep up a pace even remotely close to this. My mom keeps telling me to slow down, but I can’t. Everyone is trying to get used to my new life, booking my days full and going, going, going. It’s amazing to all of us.
I’m so grateful. I will never forget how life was before, how different it was from today. It’s a huge part of who and where I am now, and I want to make sure I never lose that. I think remembering only magnifies the gratitude in my heart.
With that said, I haven’t updated you all in a while and I want to ask you to hold me close to your heart and in your prayers right now: The surgery and the time before are beginning to come back to me a lot lately. I told a close friend that the memories are really starting to haunt me. I’m trying to process them and heal, to give them to the Lord and to move on. While my life may be going great right now, the intense fear of my story is beginning to hold me back. I suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder after my childhood illness, and I went through exposure therapy to move past it. I think that experience has made me fear the potential that any memories like these can have, and I pray God gives me peace before it gets out of control.
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
So six months, wow.
We are so blessed.